Wednesday, January 13, 2021

Aron

I guess the cosmos is calling me to finally formulate my thoughts on you.  You had been dwelling in my psyche for a while now and this past few days you have been incessantly boggling my mind, you won't stop.  I usually wake up around 3 to 4 am every single day.  The only difference today is you are hyperactive in my mind.  Again.  It's not even overwhelming because logic dictates it's just fair.

Why?  There are 2 reasons.  

The first one may be classified as "instinctive" which, you, actually already validated as material after a few months since the first day I met you.  There is something with you that told me, "Just watch out and wait."  After I woke up earlier which is like an involuntary habit that happens to me after 3am daily, I felt like putting my thoughts in here.  I read my entry prior to this one and there you were.  The second one is something that is aligned to "Newton's Law of Action & Reaction".  I guess by now it's safe for me to say that you have already triggered so many signals that it has become tangible.  In other words you have provoked it to be the truth.  While it remains a mystery to me how you can fuck my mind real good because I found out that you have the audacity to tell everyone else but me.  You actually say it to people around us that you're trying to hit on me but you never really hit on me.  You never said anything to me directly though your eyes kind of undress me in a way.  I find it sexy how your lips make me feel beautiful when you don't even say anything at all.  It's amazing how you did that not only once.  I felt empowered with you.  It's flattering how your facial expression directly told me: "You're captivating!"  And you never even uttered a single word.  It's hot!

I won't even begin to question why.  You are already committed to a relationship just like how all of you good guys are and you have an 11-year old daughter.  Enough said.  You are a good man.  Though your demons are pushing you, you stand down and play it safe.

I guess this is one disadvantage if you're highly intuitive.  I understand a lot of things that are not put into words but I know how real it is.  Sometimes I call it 'instinct' but most of the time it's something else.  I understand human emotion like it's a language that speaks to me without words nor sounds.  Sometimes, I discern human emotion through vision.  The emotion becomes visual to me with the face and body language.  I can utter adjectives just by seeing a face.  It doesn't happen all the time but when it happens, it's confirmatory.  Proving it is beyond human comprehension but it's cosmic and it's real.