Monday, February 10, 2020

Joseph

Randomly, out of nowhere, you decided to come into my life and make things happen.
You talk to me like I am someone you have known for a very long time. 
I do everything that you tell me like you are right and you make sense even if you don't
But says who? So why not?
Or was I just high?

You touch me like I am someone you have had for a very long time.
You hold me closer to you and I let you because I am yours and you are mine. 
But wait..
Ain't it the first time we met?
But not..
It just feels right.
You feel so right.
You make things bright.
Are you drawn into me?
You can't take your hands off me.
I want you to tell me but you won't.
I need you to be straight up with me
Because you choose all the "don'ts"
And straight to the bone
You won't leave me alone
Into my core
You remove all the bore
Maybe your instincts guide you to lead me
Your confidence is sexy
Maybe my instincts guide me to believe you
Because you speak no words but your hands play music

But what is your plan? 
Do you really have a plan?
What if you don't have a plan?
Why do you talk to me about marriage and family?
You try to paint a picture like you are so sure about me.
How dare you!

I already died once. 
More than once.
I die again and again.
I don't want to die anymore.
I'd rather float.
It feels like I'm floating when I'm with you that I don't want time to end.
It feels like forever counting the days to be with you again.

You came at a time when I never thought I would appreciate being single.
It's illuminating and fun!
Amidst my chaotic mind, men's fiasco reminds me that life is a pun.
I see guys fail again and again and yet,
I am entertained and not emotionally drained
Unlike if that guy is mine
Now I still feel fine
I get a lot of ego boost
Nobody can moot
By several guys I'm being wooed
With sincere and playful compliments
Ain't even obligated to respond nor give back
No judgement, just facts

I'm a 'one-of-the-boys' type of kid
I drink with them
Fuck with illegal drugs with them
Do crazy things with them
Get drunk and pass out with them
I would never pass out
There's no doubt
I guess it has been always my make
That I have my heart for one man
My heart and mind is wired to my man
The only person who can order me around
The one and only man who can touch me
Do anything to me
I am his and he is mine.
We are one.
My brain is just formatted that way
So if you still want to play
Then you're messing the operating system
Just like my fast metabolism
Nothing can beat 'em
So why don't you pick your balls up
And make a decision

I don't know what your plan is.
But I need you to tell me straight up.
It's important to me to be able to hear it from your lips and see it from your eyes.
If you really want me that much then I want you to own me.

Oh but you don't?
Oh so you ain't sure now?
You are so unfair!
You want to take it slow now?
But how come you went for it so fast, you didn't even wait days!
You gave me the truth serum
Manipulated my mind to be closer to you so I can lay it all out on the table
While you won't lay anything down. 
You are just there watching me and silently unravelling me.
Waiting for things to happen like you know for sure that things are going to happen between us.

It's a mystery.
I'd rather keep it a mystery than be disappointed with the harsh reality that these are just all my imagination
Is it?
Am I just imagining that you are leading me into something?
You unfold me and leave me open
I allowed you because I am yours and you're supposed to be mine
But wait. We're not?
That is why I need you to tell me things straight up.
I don't mind waiting.
I need like 3 years before I can be ready so please don't think I'm in a hurry.
It's just blurry.
Talk to me.
Set it straight.
Communicate.

Will you stay with me forever?
Or is this just a matter of time?
The risk of pain is not yet amplified
Sheer bliss of love and herb is high
Just like chewing Candyland kush with a little more push
We'll get lost and explore the unknown together love

Thank you for coming into my life.
I just wish you are here to stay.
Forever beside me you will lay.
Because you have something that is mine and that is a portal into my soul.
I don't think you will be able to let me go.

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