Different Facets of Hipocrisy (Version C)

Do you think you have one?

You try to be articulate in glorifying God but how come you are incapable of being selfless?

You know how blessed you are beyond measure but you refuse to give back.  It's like something that burns you that you just cannot extend your gratitude to God by giving love to your neighbor.. to your sister.. to your brother.. to your cousin.. friend.. parents.. colleagues.. to anyone aside from yourself.

Your gestures are so appalling that sometimes I think when you praise God, you please yourself and not Him per se.  When you talk about God, it's pleasing to YOU in the sense that it gives you a sense of empowerment.  It gives you a sense of entitlement and it pleases YOU.  It doesn't please God anymore because your gestures of worship are so full of YOU.  You speak in tongues which is a language of God and not of man but you speak it even if your fellowmen don't understand.  It doesn't matter to you because it pleases YOU.  And that's the only thing important to YOU.

I remember you always tell me: "Live in the grace of God."  And I believe you.

You know how I enjoy bonding with you because we talk about God.  Our moments are full of love and joy because we glorify God.  We bask in His presence and love and it's pleasing.  It pleases us both to share family love and family bonding.  We enjoy every moment.  But it racks my brain that it's just a fleeting moment.   Your time is conditional.  You refuse to connect if you have to exert an effort.  You will only connect at a place and time amendable to you.

You don't give back.  You only know how to take and receive and you are incapable to proactively "give".  It doesn't matter to you if it's my birthday or it's a deal that would give us time to bond and connect again.  You just don't "give back". 

This attitude of yours has repelled me for a very long time but because we are taught to live in love then what the heck.  I'd rather dwell in the good things.  I even remember talking to you about this straight up.  We were at your roof top and I wanted to confront you about your capacity to "give".  I remember asking you indirectly why is it that you don't have any.  We were high as always but I clearly remember your answer.  You said your love is for God and not for man.  I got it crystal clear.  I've accepted it because you are family and I love you.  I enjoy being with you and I love our bonding moments.

Until you crossed the line..

You probably don't remember because you really don't want to remember what you did.  You made me go to your place in the middle of the night.  I was going out of my mind that night so I did.  When I was already at the area, you seen zoned me and then ghosted.

Yup.  True story.  I won't make this up.  There's no reason to.

How hard could it be?  It's been 2 years and you still haven't connected with me in my own time and place.  Your time and effort is conditional indeed.  You will only connect if it's to your own convenience.  If that's not the case then you'd just say: "Live in the grace of the Lord."  Because you just can't "give" no matter what it takes.

Go figure Jem.