Different Facets of Hipocrisy (Version M)

 "If you weren't my friend before, I would never be your friend now."

Versus

"I remember how I used to look up to you and respect you. That I always want to talk to you about things in my life that don't make sense because you make sense of it and we always share the same sentiments. My subconscious has a photographic memory of our connection then so subconsciously, I still see you as the person that I should go to. Things changed over the decade that you actually have become harsh and contemptible that I find it acceptable to refer to you as a CUNT. I still hold on to you despite you being a cunt.   I thought maybe because I can't let go of the beauty of the connection we had in the past (those were the years between 2006-2012 or 2013).  I cherished it. It was important to me. I valued you.  You're like the best sister I never had.  You fill a certain emptiness because I never had this kind of relationship even with my own sister and you really act like one. A very concerned and loving elder sister.  What happened to you?  You became hateful.  There were a lot of times that you have offended me so much that I don't think you're even a friend anymore.  Come to think of it.  Why am I your only friend with Ex-cons? I mean yeah yer friends with them but they don't know you like I do.  Plus, you think you know them. Do you really do?

I can't forget the time you told me you won't waste your time with people who have no value to you.  The people you were referring to are the same people I hang out with everyday then.  The people closest to me in my first years in the BPO up until now.  You used to hang out with them too.  I guess you will still do once I set up something that will get everyone together.  I guess that's my fault right there.  I am the only one close to each and every one of you that I should be the one knowledgeable on how to manage you being with the whole gang.  Yup!  I have to manage the relationships I have with my friends because some people just don't go well together.  I had the impression you go well with them but that became obsolete through time I guess.  I stuck with you regardless of how annoying it is to maintain my relationship with you.  You stress me out a lot and I haven't even realized that I can just let go of you.  It was never an option.  You have to stay because I value you.  You know me so well and I identify myself with you a lot.  Something in you changed.  For a time, I chose to understand and accept you no matter how difficult you have been.  I remember the person in you that I loved and respected.  What happened to that person?  It was very hard for me to finally finish this write up.  Believe it or not, I started drafting this since June.  Maybe in my subconscious mind, this is acceptance that you're no longer the same person that I valued the most.  Some things are better just left behind.  You were actually the one who told me that: "You don't keep shit in your life."  You felt you've outgrown everyone.  My acceptance of who you are in my life weighed more than the number of reasons why I should cut you off my life.  Maybe some people choose to keep people because of love.  Love has always been the reason.  

We've reached the end.  I denied it for a long time but right now, I'm at the point where in I can't find any more reasons why I should keep you.  Thank you for the memories because I wish to keep them for as long as I can.  I still imagine you and your husband will be present in my wedding when I have one.  I always picture the same people in my past who will be present in the event.  Some people are already eliminated because of various reasons like death and/or death of relationship.  I remember one of them that I eliminated, you were the one person who encouraged it.  Let's see how it goes when my wedding comes.  See you when I see you V.. or not.. but again, thanks for the memories!  It's only a matter of time and I still get to keep them.