"If you weren't my friend before, I would never be your friend now."
Versus
"I remember how I used to look up to you and respect you. That I always want to talk to you about things in my life that don't make sense because you make sense of it and we always share the same sentiments. I guess now my subconscious remembers every single detail of our connection then that, subconsciously, I still see you as the person that I should go to. Things changed over the decade that you actually have become harsh and contemptible that I find it acceptable to refer to you as a CUNT. I still hold on to you despite you being a cunt. I thought maybe because I can't let go of the beauty of the connection we had in the past (those were the years between 2006-2012 or 2013). I cherished it. It was important to me. I valued you. You're like the best sister I never had. You fill a certain emptiness because I never had this kind of relationship even with my own sister and you really act like one. A very concerned and loving elder sister. What happened to you? You became hateful. There were a lot of times that you have offended me so much that I don't think you're even a friend anymore. Come to think of it. Why am I your only friend with Ex-cons? I mean yeah yer friends with them but they don't know you like I do. Plus, you think you know them. Do you really do?
I can't forget the time you told me you won't waste your time with people who have no value to you. The people you were referring to are the same people I hang out with everyday then. The people closest to me in my first years in the BPO up until now. You used to hang out with them too. I guess you will still do once I set up something that will get everyone together. I guess that's my fault right there. I am the only one close to each and every one of you that I should be the one knowledgeable on how to manage you being with the whole gang. Yup! I have to manage the relationships I have with my friends because some people just don't go well together. I had the impression you go well with them but that became obsolete through time I guess. I stuck with you regardless of how annoying it is to maintain my relationship with you. You stress me out a lot and I haven't even realized that I can just let go of you. It was never an option. You have to stay because I value you. You know me so well and I identify myself with you a lot. Something in you changed. For a time, I chose to understand and accept you no matter how difficult you have been. I remember the person in you that I loved and respected. What happened to that person? It was very hard for me to finally finish this write up. Believe it or not, I started drafting this since June. Maybe in my subconscious mind, this is acceptance that you're no longer the same person that I valued the most. Some things are better just left behind. You were actually the one who told me that: "You don't keep shit in your life." You felt you've outgrown everyone. My acceptance of who you are in my life weighed more than the number of reasons why I should cut you off my life. Maybe some people choose to keep people because of love. Love has always been the reason.
We've reached the end. I denied it for a long time but right now, I'm at the point where in I can't find any more reasons why I should keep you. Thank you for the memories because I wish to keep them for as long as I can. I still imagine you and your husband will be present in my wedding when I have one. I always picture the same people in my past who will be present in the event. Some people are already eliminated because of various reasons like death and/or death of relationship. I remember one of them that I eliminated, you were the one person who encouraged it. Let's see how it goes when my wedding comes. See you when I see you V.. or not.. but again, thanks for the memories! It's only a matter of time and I still get to keep them.
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