Tall Guy

Okay, let me write about you. I'd like to look back to this and see if things I write in here will make sense in time. I'm not in love right now so I welcome all signs of butterflies in my stomach plus the fact that I'm bored out of my mind and I'm excited for any giggly action. I don't experience any butterflies in my stomach just yet but I can imagine walking on air once you get there. Where? To the part where you will confess your feelings for me. Kidding aside, I'm highly intuitive but these are one of the top things that I can never predict. When a guy who really likes me would make moves and tell me he really likes me. It always happens abruptly, unexpectedly and to my surprise. However, for the two instances that we stayed in Starbucks, our interactions confirmed your apparent stares and observations amount to something. Based on my experience, these are the things that we should cherish and find pleasure from since they are the fleeting moments that make life worth living. It could lead to love while it's temporary and it's still a positive thing. In my current situation, I'd appreciate all the positivity.

Quiet Time: October 31, Monday 5:16a

Christian music without scripture is still worship. Just trying to get in the spiritual zone and in the process, hoping for a glimpse of my third heaven. This is where I get a breather and draw my strength to be able to endure my daily pains that I bury deep into the forgotten. I'm thankful every day for God's grace that his hand is always present in the series of events. This condition that I have is God's gift. It's God's plan. The greatest monster of my life never really changed. It's been there all along. It just changed its form thru time and space but it's the same evil. She reminded me every little detail when she brought back a buried memory. I was like.. "This isn't new. I've experienced this same exact toxic and inexplicable horror ever since my very first innocent memory of my mother. It suddenly refreshed memories of my forgotten past. The culprit of my very core and of who I really am." I like to believe I became a better person. I've learned to get rid of negativity and I've healed as person physically, mentally and spiritually. I've learned to replace hate with love and to dwell only with things that I can control. No matter how painful it is, I've learned to embrace pain as life. This is life and life is temporary so I'd rather experience life beautifully rather than in horror. I've learned to get rid of negativity even if they're the most important people in my life. God is love. Love is hope. I have faith. God planned the beginning and the end. It's all yours Father. Stay with me til the end please. 5:34a