As You Wish Bitch!

You were toxic again last night. For a short while I thought I wouldn't get that kind of energy from you anymore but maybe some things about you will never really change. I decided to create this write up as a testament maybe that things do unfold naturally. I feel confident about my predictions because I'm able to harmonize with the flow of cosmic energy. I don't counter it. I just accept things as it is and I learn to embrace my fate or what life brings me.

You were hostile again last night. You always make a grand statement about yourself that you are capable of this and that and that you are comfortable telling me because I'm your friend thats why you tell me. I don't get it. Nobody says these things to me but you. I would never go tell any of my friends that I'm capable of this and that if it's not relevant to them. What for? Unless there's something that I need to figure out about it and I need their opinion.

Imagine, this was your grand statement: "I can make myself love someone if I want to and I can teach myself to unlove someone if I want to."

I only asked you if you were self-aware about how you looked at me when you were in love with me because you relayed to me an instance when your cousin called you out doing it to a waitress. You said yes, you're aware and we're back to your statements about your grandiose self-image. I brought up my letter to you that I've written back in June because there were so many things written there that are relevant to the topic at hand but I just can't bring myself to tell you outright. You're not ready. Then your tone changed. You want me to write things down so I can look back at it and we'll see if everything I've written down is right. It's like you got pissed and then you accused me of bringing up my letter to you all the time because I'm trying to feed your mind to make things happen according to my plan.

So here I am writing my feelings to oblivion. You drained me. You were toxic. After that conversation with you, I realized I don't want to continue talking to you anymore. I already said this months ago and I told myself I'm going to just mute you because I couldn't bear the aftermath in your life the last time I removed you in mine that I felt the need to redeem you. So we're back to silence. Though you will always have a reason to reach out to me. Last time your maximum was 12 days. It became longer because you noticed how I was trying to ignore you by calling out your hostility.

I don't know how to tell you that I can't stand your toxicity. Maybe by the time that you read this, you'd get the idea but that will be such a long wait from now.

I need my peace. I think I've done more than enough for you. What else do you want from me? Haven't you had enough? If you're just going to be a fake friend to me then I don't need you in my life anymore. Go! Do whatever the hell you want! Enjoy your life. Leave me the fuck alone! For the record, I have always been a good friend to you despite all your evil but you're never a good friend to me. You never have been a good friend. You're not a good friend and you never will be. You just pretend to be my friend because you need something from me and you can't stand to be alone. I just learned to remove all the hate in my life and accept things as it is. I value my peace and my life is more peaceful without you around. That's the truth. So you can pretend all you want but the truth will always prevail.