I've known it all along. I've known it's been lying to me all along but I just dance along it's music. It's been lying to me. It's still is lying to me and it will continue to lie to me.
I keep trying to remember how love looks like and when I do remember it, I feel happy. It was true love indeed. But it lied. End of story.
I keep telling myself that I still have hope. That I will find love and love will find me. I'll find my love and the right man for me. But my subconscious is too powerful. It gained it's wisdom thru experience. The greatest man I ever knew-the first love of my life has been lying to my face and he will do everything to maintain the lies. The love I knew was a fucking lie.
No matter how hard I try to pretend that I'm looking for true love, the truth weighs more. There's no truth in love. Love is pain. Love is suffering. Love is sacrifice. Love is hell. It doesn't really have to be but it is in my reality. I didn't choose this life. I'm an offspring of two people who were in love and over time this is what true love is.
This is why I always thought I'm looking for true love but in reality, I've had enough of it. I've witnessed hell from love. I seriously thought I want to be in love with a man. That I need a man to love me and to be with. But I know it all comes with a price and it's not pretty. Because the love I knew was a fucking lie! It lied to me and it will continue the lies.
Fuck love!
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