My Break Up Summary

A lot had happened over the past few months. I never knew that it had impacted me that much because now, people are saying I changed a lot. I loosened up. I opened up. Over the months I was in the dark. I was in the dark and I was kept there.

 "I'm not looking for anyone. I respect you. I respect our relationship. You're the one I want to be with."

This statement made me believe something at the very least. I was made to believe that we are doing something to make us better so we could be happier together. We needed some space. A breather. And after some time, it can work out better between us. I was in the dark for the past 5 months since one illuminating afternoon.

On February 21, 2012 around 4pm, the truth was unveiled. I unraveled something that gave a whole new meaning to the name "Ace Victoria". I was made to believe a big lie. The biggest frigging lie I can ever think of in my whole goddamn life. The truth didn't fill in holes at all. It totally changed everything in every twisted little detail. It's crazy! It was a lot to take in. Time is imperative for anyone to process and accept the whole fiasco!

I'm writing about it now because I want to put a validation to everything that transpired over the months. It's been 3 months and I want to keep you updated. Whenever I come back to this blog and read the entries before this, I read a state of mind that existed because it was made to believe something that isn't real. It may be real but it's plain sick and messed up now that I know the truth. There's a whole different story and it needs to be told.

I trusted someone that I was made to believe as the love of my life for the past 5 years. We had weddings plans and it was divulged to his family. I almost married the guy!

The love that brought me to where I am now and made me hope for something beautiful doesn't exist anymore. I wasn't even aware that I was made to hold on to the reality of the "past". A past that flowered genuine love that was unconditional. A past that can no longer be the present. Again, it was a goddamn lot to take in! Surprisingly, after a month, I swallowed everything whole and managed to move forward happy and free!

Somebody told me, I didn't do anything. He did that to himself. For someone who loved unconditionally and then ruin it unintentionally or deliberately after some time, is it a lot to take in? Ruining what once was a beautiful relationship is definitely something that one should learn to recover from. He would need someone to help him recover from this nasty reality he got himself into. Whoever that someone is, good riddance! And whatever happened to you Ace, I'm just glad it's no longer my burden to take.

You gave everything you got Ace. Passion, affection, love, devotion...

You changed yourself for me. You put me to the pedestal. You adored me from head to toe.

I guess, after some time that I haven't been doing the same thing, it began to matter. I still can't give in and...

it ruined you.

Maybe it's over but "over" is not a word that you know.

Hope you heal in time.