My Semantics in "Moving On"

When Agnes asked me, "Why are you feeling that way?"

I realized just now, that I just want to be acknowledged. As you said, what happened to me was very traumatic. It's not easy to get over it. But I swallowed everything whole. I'm being strong on my own. I didn't ask help from anyone. I was shot down over and over again. I just get up without any help from anyone. Other people on the other hand, just can't stop talking about me. She can't stop posting trash about me. She can't stop bashing me all the way. I never, not once, mentioned anything about this fiasco to make myself look prettier. Not that I need to because... c'mon... facts are facts! haha

I can easily say, "No matter how hard you try, you can never replace what was even if you curl your hair!"

hahahaha

But no, I never utter a single word. I just don't feel like I need to. It's just not my cake. I send the message straight up.

I should be acting like the bitter one right?! But who's really bitter now? I just don't understand why YOU ARE?!

I was granted this experience. I accept it. I cope. I don't brood. I don't mope. I don't dwell. I guess I just want people to recognize that. What I had to experience is not simple. It's not easy at all. Maybe it's okay to feel some "Ace Air." Sometimes, it's an "Ace Cloud." And when God is sending me a message, He's giving me the "Ace Storm." But I feel good after I get His message.

Look at me now. I'm still moving forward and I'm standing strong. Sometimes, I need people to recognize that.

Oh by the way, to illuminate you on the semantics, there are things I call the Ace Air, the Ace Cloud, and the Ace Storm. The Ace Air is a fleeting moment of Ace memoirs. Simple things like quotes, words, songs, expressions or just about anything that reminds me of the past with Ace, it gives me the "Ace Air". It's fast and it's fleeting. If that weird, funny and awkward feeling is sustained, I call it the "Ace Cloud." There are times when an "Ace Cloud" arrives then I feel very heavy on my chest with no reason at all. My mind is blank but then it feels like there's a big rock jammed in my heart that I feel I needed to cry it out. It's weird and so much uncalled for but it happens. I call it the "Ace Storm." On a positive note, I only had the "Ace Storm" once and it illuminated me to something really surprising and sick. One big lie that opened a can of worms.

The "Ace Storm" was meant to happen. It happened for a reason and I'm glad it did. The "Ace Cloud" is seasonal. I only experienced it on the third month. I don't experience the "Ace Cloud" anymore though I still experience a lot of "Ace Air."