On my last entry, I have declared that I will be putting entries here as much as I can moving forward. I remember setting an interval of like once or twice a week, as much as possible.
Okay. I just read the last entry and I wrote it there. I said "weekly" or "every other day if not daily". It's been 16 days after my last entry. If it's any consolation, there were several times I've thought of writing my thoughts here. There were several random thoughts which made me feel the vibe of validating them by putting it here. Let me see if I can remember them... (pause & think @ 9:37pm)
I zoned back in at 9:41pm and yes I remembered. I think..
Pardon me for I do have the habit of tracking my time lapses whenever I am consciously doing it.
I was thinking about people who would be part of this blog. These people would be my family and friends who made a big impact in my life and are still making an impact on my life. Practically, everyone I know can be part of this blog. Anyone I know who can make an impact in my life significantly or not, in the past, present and in the future. But I was more concerned on how they would feel in the event they would discover that they have become a main character in one of my entries here. I'm concerned because these people in my mind won't look pretty in public. They won't look pretty because it's their ugliest side I will popularize - their most awful and rotten side that they don't want anyone else to know. Most importantly, it's the reality of my life. I'm not creating this to demean anyone. This is not some sort of revenge nor a way to attack anyone I know. I'm not creating this to become popular. This, again, is me to the core. This is real talk. It's my reality and not anyone else's. The way I see it, if there is the slightest chance this blog would go viral, would hit any charts or go insanely popular, it's because this is the realest that anyone can be.
It occurred to me that after I had that infamous car accident in 2009, several brain cells or nerves were lost. Unfortunately, one of those vital nerves include the ones responsible for filtering emotion or lack thereof. It has become very hard for me to lie. I say things exactly as they are. My comprehension on why one has to rephrase, sugarcoat or use a better scripting in order to sound more acceptable needs help. This is also one way for me to define the word REAL.
No euphemisms.
No conscious effort of making it sound better.
This is real as it can be.
Who knows that what we understand as "awful" here in our cosmos is actually the opposite in a different world? We'll never know.
Bottomline is, I will be real to my core. Nothing will be able to hold me back now.
3 comments:
When you’re “real to the core,” what spills outnof you is your genuine self. You can pour out your thoughts with rawness l, and yes, people will at times be shocked, for the truth, after all, can be ugly and messy.
Wishing you an awesome journey on this blog!
Wow. Thanks Chris! Here goes nothing.. *-*
Writing, just like any form of expression, should be spontaneous, putting into word the emotion you are feeling for posterity is very raw and real. It is like a bookmark, a timestamp, a capsule moment of that time in your life. Just like the audio recordings, they are not something that you schedule and do at a set time and place.
Go with the flow, you told me once chill and lets play it by ear.
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