Your intoxicating passion over me makes me weak to my bones. Your fervent desires are too infectious that it stupefies me. You can't help it and you hate it! You can't hold yourself back so you just indulge yourself of your dose of me. I can hear your energy and it's calling me. You told me you'll never message me nor call me again and you already sent your last message but you still do message me regularly. You even make calls like you're not ashamed to take your word back. I can feel your heat every single time. You're too weak! How can I make you weak? When did you become weak like that?! The irony here is that your weakness over me drives me crazy. Our synchronicity is on point. It's nerve racking that I imagine my life with you because you gave me the vision of us and it's all bliss. You know it's a life we both want! We can almost give anything to have it again. It was like orchestrated over time somewhere divine and we're meant to be together in the end. We both still yearn for it because we sickeningly want the same thing! I know it and you know it.
I may still be within the realm of my self-contradicting paradigm but the paradoxical euphoria is addictive. You tell yourself you don't want me and I'm not the one you want but you're encapsulated by me that you take everything I say seriously. I'm astonished that you listen to everything I tell you. It doesn't even feel right to say that I'm surprised because it feels like I already know that you're going to listen to every single thing that I tell you and do exactly as I say. We don't even talk but you remember every little thing that I said like it's your lifeline. You know what you want and you're in it too deep but you try to teach yourself otherwise because you mind my principles even if it's not yours. What truly makes me happy matters to you even if it's killing you that it will never be you. Have you ever loved anyone like this? Your love galvanize my whole being you need not utter a word. Would you blame me if I'd crave for you? The only people in my life who taught me what love is abandoned me and made me live a life of recluse. I would give anything to get some real love! But I will never do anything to hurt you. The futility of your withdrawal afloat because all your gestures raise the white flag. This is our love language. It wracks my brain that we don't even utter any words but we just get each other thru the core. I don't think it's going to end. This is definitely never going to end!
A few weeks ago you were all over me. I'm happy that you fixed yourself up a little bit but you still got me under your skin. You're stuck and I'm stuck but we're both living our lives like what we had was all forgotten and obsolete just because we have to. It's funny how we both pretend to be moving on and that we can't go back. I may still be within the realms of my reality but it feels good to imagine the possibilities of paradise and bliss with you. Probably because I've been yearning for it for too long and you're the perfect one but not. And that actually makes you perfect! Come to think of it. It's better to imagine that you're everything that I prayed for. Someone who loves me more than anything else that your world shatters if I'm not by your side. My posse. My comfort zone and a pain in the ass. I wasn't even aware that you're everything that I asked for. It's like the infinite intelligence has been concocting you to become the person that I have been exactly yearning for. So this is the reason why it took an awful long time. We're both doing the work so we don't ever have to work for it for the rest of our lives. You're my safe space and my safe place - my soulmate. My other half. I'd rather embrace this truth than to wait in abyss and dwell in nothingness. We create our life, remember?
As long as we're both in denial, then it's never going to end. We'll be dancing in the waves until our truths align and we both accept the same truth. When that happens, then I guess I'll be your shotgun rider til the day I die. You'll be holding my hand once again and I promise, I'll never pull away from you again. It's you and me til the end.
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