I blocked you years ago because of what you did and how you denied your hidden desires towards me. May it be intentional or not, it still happened. Alam mo that there was evil in you. Inamin mo lahat sakin 5 years after it happened when we talked again. Hindi ka lang umamin, minahal mo na talaga ako ng totoo Gladys.
Pinlano mo ba lahat yan? Hindi naman diba?! Pero nangyari. Maganda yung nangyari.
I appreciated it coz you redeemed yourself to me and you came clean. I may have allowed you to use me so you can move on with your divorce pero malalim kase foundation natin. In fact, we've been doing the same thing ever since we became friends so it felt natural to me. Kahit isipin kong hindi totoo lahat yun sayo and you were never really in love with me, we both know the truth. You transformed into a completely different person that's why I was drawn to you. We both cannot 'unsee' things between us Gladys. This is "us" now. To be honest, it felt like it's all you ever wanted and you've been waiting to hold me the way you did ever since we first met 18 years ago. It feels so good to be showered with your love because I was abandoned by the people I love the most. It feels like I'm already dead! But since I've known you for so long, I know there's a catch. I don't fall for that kind of trap. It just doesn't work with me. Sorry but not sorry, I guess.
The scary thing here Gladys is that I know you wouldn't have gotten married if I didn't remove you in my life 6 years ago. I wouldn't have removed you in my life if only you would've been honest with me then. Things would've turned out differently. Everything happened for a reason. This was your life's breakthrough! We both have already established the facts, right?
What made you did what you did? Why is it easier for you to conceal the truth than to just be completely honest and be real? Your greatest narcissistic qualities Tibs: ego, pride and insecurities. I gave you that book for a reason. This is not to persecute and condemn you. It's for you to better understand who you are and how you create your life and people around you. You just went through your nasty divorce and you're acting like you're in a frying pan just because you're single again. You would prefer to go through a roller coaster of emotions instead of just staying still, keeping your life simple, just be happy and appreciate life after you conquered the experience. Well, that's who you really are. You love drama and you can't seem to live your life without your dose of it. On a lighter side, I'm glad you're back. I can't bear the fact that someone who doesn't really mean anything to you made you forget who you really are. I knew that if I make you remember me, you'd come back to yourself in an instant. Plus you were really good at making me feel it was my fault. You love blaming me for things that you do to your life.
But why do I feel you're doing exactly the same thing you did 6 years ago after I blocked you? You want to bury the truth and live another life of pretense! This time, you're trying to undo whatever is already done. You want to teach yourself to unlove me and do a rewind wishing all your feelings will disappear because I don't feel the same way. Are your narcissistic qualities getting the best of you again? I would allow the silence to answer that for you. You're starting to come back to the real you so your silly insecurities are starting to take a hit on you and your self imposed possibilities are driving you crazy.
Now, think! Calm the fuck down and think!
It's only a matter of time Tibs. I dread the day that you'll regret your decisions today. I'm looking at a clear picture of you admitting defeat the second time around. It's been over the day you realized I'm the love of your life and I always will be. Your words not mine.
What made you change your mind?
Our agreement that I'll be your wife for 10 days just so you can wake up from your delusional misery is your only basis. It's completely flawed. You want us to be in love? Then that's another conversation. You have to make me fall in love with you Gladys. Not force me into a relationship with you when we're friends! I can't take anything seriously from you while I'm being a friend to you pulling you back up because you were drowning. I ought to help you breathe freely first. I did exactly that. You have to come back to the real YOU!
CTFD will ya!
Can't you do it one step at a time? What's the rush? What are you scared of? I'm already here with you as you wish (or not, haha). We're back in business (or not, haha). I have my own battles too but your woes and wishes are the only things that matter.
Now that you are getting there or already there, you just dropped me like a hot potato.
Happy now? Good for you but you can't even be my buddy anymore. You were the one who said I made you strong when you were at your weakest. I was there for you every step of the way to give you everything you needed to survive but you can't do the same for me. Not that I'm expecting you to. For the record, even as friend, you failed to be there for me and you keep telling yourself we're friends! Cut the bullshit will ya!
Here's the truth Gladys. Better listen well and listen good. I can always be a friend to you. I was, I am and I will always be. You can never be a friend to me because you will always want something more. You can pretend to be my friend but your narcissistic traits will want to hurt me because it's hurting you that I'm not yours to keep. That's the truth. That's the reason why for the longest time we've been together, the only time it felt really good to be with you was when you confessed that you were in love with me. You were being real and fluid. I loved that side of you and I think you did too. You will only be able to accept me fully if I'm your other half. You were the one who said it. We can't go back. This is our paradox of love and companionship. You can pretend to be my friend but your narcissistic qualities will always get the best of you. You will always want more of me. It will kill you that you can't so you'll just throw shit at my face to get even. That's your toxic nature. I will always be your friend but you will never be my friend. Not because you can't. It's simply because you don't want to.
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