I'm calling out to you Father. May you send your Holy Spirit so he would feel your love and your healing hands thru my letter. May you reveal to him his awakening that he will not look back but look forward to your peace and stay in your paradise.
Palm Sunday
March 24, 2024
Daddy,
I don't know how to say this. I never do say it pero sa totoo lang mahal na mahal kita. Dad, you're already 70 years old. I'm turning 41 in 2 weeks. I really wanted to settle down with the man for me and have kids. That's how I thought out my life will be considering that among your 3 daughters, I'm the only one who is domesticated and can put up with household chores naturally.
For the life of me, I never imagined that at this day and age, I'd still be single and childless at 41. I refuse to get in any relationship. I guess what happened to our family changed me. Because now, I see marriage and commitment as pain, suffering and misery. Who will be that man who will kill me inside out that I have to keep it in and implode?
I'd rather bear the pains of staying at home with my parents and be the shock absorber of all sorts. At the very least, they are my parents. You raised me and my siblings single-handedly dad. I was witness to your chaotic marriage and toxic relationship for 40 years and counting. I guess I've had enough of it that I'd rather stay single. But I know how you love children. All four of us are closer to you than mom because you took the role of our father and mother all these years. I witnessed how frustrated you have become with mom all through out the years but you stayed because you committed to your responsibility as our father. You were our hero dad. We've always looked up to you and respected you as our father. A lot of things has changed now. You have become a totally different person today. I've always thought, if only I have kids then there will be the source of your joy and happiness then things could have worked out differently. Maybe you won't get too fixated with your frustrations, disappointments and misery. But your heart will be open to more positivity, love, compassion and divine intervention. I don't know how else to reach out to you dad that your heart will listen and your soul will calm down. I don't know how you can cling on to hate and anger so much that you push away everyone around you.
In this day and age, I've learned that in life, there are only 2 things: God or Satan, heaven or hell, love or hate. THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN DAD. We all have our own battles in life DAD. Mine is a warfare but I've learned to be strong and cling on to God in spite of all the misery I've had to just swallow in WHOLE. Thank you I guess. I was raised by TWO OF THE MOST TOXIC PEOPLE IN THE WORLD. I think you and mom raised me well. It just breaks my heart that you choose to ignore the blessings and the fruits you bore after all the years of your hardship. You should just be relaxing and taking your time to enjoy your retirement. Who knows how many years you have left? Should you be fostering PEACE and LOVE until it lasts? It's your legacy anyways.
Always here,
Yvelle
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