The Final Good byes = The End

• 

  August 4, 2012

  Xyra Contreras

  • Hello to you all,
    
    For the record, I just want to say that Ace had been a very good kuya to his siblings. When we were together, Ace was devoted to his family as much as he was devoted to me. He never sacrificed his family. He was always looking after their welfare. When we were together, our rule was always "our family first" because I also help my dad and my family.
    Back in the days, I saw the way my dad is with Ace. He was very responsible and he always made sure that his family is okay. He was very consistent in providing for them. I decided to message you because I want to give Ace credit for everything he had done for his family. He did everything for them. It was not easy for Ace especially when issues ALWAYS come into play. It’s unfair for Ace if his efforts are not noticed. Especially now, that he is no longer communicating well with Nanay and his family. It’s easy to notice the bad things and it’s so easy to forget the good things that one had done. It was very exhausting for Ace to begin with. I guess he just got tired.
    
    For all the bad things Ace had done, he definitely did something right and I keep that in my heart. I have already forgiven him. I hope he find it in his heart to forgive himself, come back to all of you, reunite with Nanay and his family. Ace has a good heart. Everything happens for a reason. I know you all love Ace to bits. I always wish the best for you and your family.
    
    This is my good bye to all of you. Thank you for everything and thank you so much for listening. God bless you all.
    
    Good bye
• 

  August 4, 2012

  Joselito Cedro Hitosis

  • Thanks for the admirable words your have spoken/written for our nephew Ace most esp your forgiveness. You made him that way in all in his good effort and love to his family and to you as well... I wish him and you all the best, praying that you continue to move on and see the brighter side of what happened.
    God bless you Xyra, Ingat palagi...
• 

  August 4, 2012

  Janneth Godwin

  • Thank you Xyra! You take care of yourself... All the best! Have a good life. Love to u and to your family xxx
    

Letters From Ace Five Years Ago

It's just amusing to find these letters and after reading it's content, I can say that it came from someone who is truly, deeply, madly in love. No hard feelings. Just smiles.

Baby Boo....

Don't falter and never lose hope in my love for you for it is the reason that makes me stronger and complete. It is always you whom I respect the most, whom I adore and look up to because of all the people I know of you treated me with the same things. You taught me things that I never would have known if I hadn't met you and because of you, I would not be who I am right now....

"I know I'm in love with you. Because each time we look at each other's eyes, my heart swells and skips a beat. When we talk about life, it renews my energy and gives me the courage to go on. Whenever we touch each other's hands., a kind of electricity courses through my body. And when we are in each other's arms, it's such a heavenly feeling.

I just know I'm in love with you, simply because I'm happy being with you."

I love you, simply because I really do and I won't get tired saying those words because it's meaning is true.

Ace

Baby ko,

It was really hard for me to write down the things that I wanna say to you.... I dunno why, you know, before I met you I was a decent writer. I could easily put my thoughts into a piece of paper but now I don't know where it is now... The thing about you is you push me... a lot. You tell me things that hurts me but it hurts me coz it's true, you push me to be the best man that I can be... You test me coz you know I could do better. You try my patience coz you want me to be patient. You help me realize the things that I've done wrong and make me realize it by thinking about it myself. You make me strong by showing that you care, you give me passion by looking crazy at me, showing romance by hugging or kissing me. Showing love by standing beside me through thick and thin...

I could give you a lot of reasons why I love you but really the only reason that I love you is because I really do love you.

Sorry if this letter was just given to you this late but I know you'll understand and forgive me...

Happy birthday My Love, My Baby, My Princess, My Life.

I Love you Xyra
*mwuah* 

Irony

In my four years stint in this company, I submitted a resignation letter twice. The first time was almost four years ago when I was with the company for only two months. I was pulled out several times. My trainer tried to convince me to stay. My colleagues did too. Our HR Business partner put me on retention sessions. I was firm. They promised me benefits and perks that will favor me. I gave in and decided to stay.

The second time was 2 years later. I rendered a 30 day grace period. Again, my manager tried to retain me. And again, I was firm with my decision. I was forwarded to her manager who, again, tried to retain me. She asked me to give them one more chance. I stayed quiet. She decided to give me what I wanted that would make me stay which is career growth and mobility so then I stayed.

Time came that I embraced this company. I love this company. I was an advocate. I had the habit of talking some sense to colleagues who have been dragging themselves to work and motivate them. Let them see the benefits and advantages that tends to be blurry at times because it gets overlooked due to stress of the mundane rut.

Until... I was forced to resign...

The Year That Started Everything

They say if you have a bad year, the year after that will be a great year. 

and vice versa?


It was the year 2010 when my family experienced a freak car accident. Everyone was okay except I was in a critical condition. It was the most eventful year of my life.

I survived.

I'm not sure anymore if it's a good thing that I survived that accident. If it's true what they say, here's an overview of my life in the past three years..

2010 The Freak Accident
This brought my family closer to God and closer to each other. My dad became open to me being in a relationship and my family loved him like their own. They saw how devoted he is to me and that he will be a good husband, just right for me. They say, it's not easy to find a man like him. I was very lucky.

2011 The Transformation and The Cheating
My boyfriend, my partner whom I kept a secret from my family for three years was finally introduced and let out to my family. He was loved and accepted like he's part of the family. Suddenly, this so called "devoted partner" transformed into someone unfamiliar. The cheating started in the year 2010, but the year 2011 was when he was becoming really transparent.

2012 The Revelaton, The Termination, The 200k Retrenchment Pay
The cheating with a "frontal female" was revealed.  I call it "Frontal Female" because she wasn't the real girl he cheated me on to begin with. The "cheating" started in 2010 with a disgusting jappayuki right at the same year when the so called "devoted partner" was revealed to my family.
I was forced to resign with the company I found comfort with for the last 4 years then I learned that there will be a 200k retrenchment pay if redeployment will be unsuccessful by September.

Tell me. What is ironic?

Somebody told me that the accident is just part of the script. If all of these are painstakingly planned and strategized to something..

Then what's next?

Awkward..

Here I am, moving forward.. happy.. free..

While your mom on the other hand is doing everything she can

So you will end up with me

It's awkward yes

I'm just a decent girl with a good upbringing

I just respond courteously

Nevertheless, hopes will be for you and not for me

Because it will always be my decision to make.

The Only Reason You Met Them: I Was In A COMA. Too Bad For Me.

This post from a friend struck me:
"Did you all ever consider me as a friend? I wish you could have told me the truth and spare me torture and anguish of feeling paranoid because I am constantly assured that I was loved and cared for, when all along there's really something going on with Dar and JM. I won't blame you guys, but MY INTUITION NEVER FAILS ME... thanks though..."

I feel you sis.. I don't know what to say..

Like you, I was constantly assured that I was loved and cared for..
That there is, there was and there will be no one else but me..
I am the only one that he ever wanted, he ever craved for and he ever loved deeply..
No one else!

And all of a sudden a psychotic blow without a warning. I would never have known the truth if I didn't seek it. I seriously regret trusting!

How do you deal? How do you respond?

You just accept. It's extremely painful and I thought I will never get over it.

It was harsh. He refused to give me closure, instead he dropped a bomb and then he hit the road. He was animalistic and merciless like a psycho. "Torture" is a perfect term!

If you come to think of it, it's not my loss. He went psycho and thank God he is now another woman's burden to take.

Gel, your foundation with Dar will remain and you would know best like my foundation with 'him' remains and I got the better hand. Everything happens for a reason. I am happy to have to experience this before marriage. It's an enlightenment for me. After 5 years of being together, God showed me the true nature of the man whom I almost married. It's actually one of the greatest blessings I ever had.

A man who is incapable of facing his issues and is unable to give a decent closure to the woman he truly loved, cared for and devoted himself to is someone that I would NEVER welcome in my life, what more be the father of my children?! NEVER!

I was raised by a man with a strong foundation-a man of principles. I am a product of a man who is God-fearing, affectionate and driven. I have good upbringing and I would despise someone who lives a lie and makes a fool out of himself and his family just like you Ace. I despise you! You turned into someone I don't know. What happened to "Ace"? Who are you?!

I regret the day that my family have known you. You met my family because I was unconscious and you will never have met my family if only I didn't get into a coma. It was not my choice to let my family see you and know you. If I can turn back time, I would go back to the day they met you and change what already happened. It was a big mistake for my family to know you. I wish they never have met you. I wish they never have known you. I have kept you a secret for 3 years and I should have just kept you a secret. But it was out of my hands, I was in a coma. You are someone that no girl can be proud of. You are an embarrassment Ace H. Victoria - to me and to everyone in your family. But I guess, everything really happens for a reason.

Look at me now. I'm standing strong. I'm happy. I'm free! I'm free of you and your bullshit!

Now, what are you?

Good luck to life and I hope you begin to find peace of mind.

One Last Trip To Let You Go

I was fully aware that I won't get my money back on this trip.  This June 3 trip where we went to far Bulacan and talked to Mama and Tito Father. These people don't have money.

I know that they can't really give me anything monetary given that it was my primary purpose. I just want to do everything that can be done so that when I reach the end, there's no looking back. I won't say: "I should have done this.." "I should have done that.." I could have done this and that.."

Now that my employment is in a very critical situation, I have become desperate to get my money back. It's only a matter of time before I lose my job and if that happens where will I get the money to pay that friggin' loan which has a monthly amortization of P10,023.23??? That is aside from my other bills and other monthly amortizations. There is my condo and my car. What about credit card bills, gas money, food and recreation?

But this trip gave me the will to let go

I am blessed with a good family, an amazing dad and supportive people around me. I'm letting go of that financial bind. I can do this. It will be hard and it will cause nuisance to people that loves me since I'm going constantly ask or borrow money from them. hahaha

I will get by.

At the very least, it was illuminating to talk to Mama and to Tito Father. I was illuminated that Ace really has become a psychotic liar. I feel sorry for you Ace.

You have done it and you just can't face it so you hide like a lunatic. You want to live a life of pretence, that's fine. It's your life. It's you! I have nothing to prove. You have got a lot of things to prove not to me but to yourself. You are not fooling me nor anyone else but yourself and your family who believed in you. Pathetic!

Now, nobody knows you. Do you still even know yourself? Why are you holding back? What are you scared of? Why can't you just be a man and face the reality of life. Live your life! And live it real!